My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I’m pronouncing that right. I’m named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis. Zach Galifianakis Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better. I love to put on diamonds and beautiful evening gowns and make my girl-friends upset. I always liked parties. You meet people; you can have fun. The women’s movement hasn’t changed my sex life. It wouldn’t dare. Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles. I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. We were both in love with him. I fell out of love with him, but he didn’t. I pay all my own bills… I want to choose the man. I do not permit men to choose me. To a smart girl men are no problem – they’re the answer.